Tuesday, May 14, 2013

15 Things You May Have Missed While Mommy and Daddy Played Russian Roulette With the Baby Bottle

Well, there you have it. It's been nearly seven months since I posted on Luke's life. Er...Luke's flailing on playmats while wailing at milk ducts. And now it's time to post again.

For, he has a competitor.

Little, adorable Luke has a little, adorable timecapsule playdate. And Mommy has a stomach ache.

Somehow when I began reading the Bible with Luke I didn't have the foresight to realize I almost literally wouldn't be able to stop. It's like that crazy colored merry-go-round the big kid from two grades up starts pushing once you get on. You contemplate the sloppy joes you ate for lunch and instinctively assume it would hurt more to jump off than clutch the side rail and ride it out.

Ok it isn't too much like that.

But I swear parenting could use side rails.

Or possibly a sign saying don't jump on the crazy colored merry-go-round when fat kids are present.

Instead, while others were whispering phrases like "family planning" and "is this a working emergency exit?" in hushed tones on other sides of rooms we entered, Daddy and Mommy were just carefreely playing away at the russian roulette game in the corner with the baby bottle.

And now, (croaks) ...

There. is. another. Demsick.

Yes, approximately two months after Luke's first birthday, another Demsick will gasp, cry, and fall asleep in two hour intervals. And we will begin again.

Though--I'll admit--I've neglected to post our little fun misadventures for seven months, our somewhat less little parenting miscalculations, and our downright not-at-all little mischievous infantary, I have continued to read to Luke.

Translation: Luke has read almost the entire Bible before learning to pee discriminately and not call the long-haired one, "Dad."

So, in the spirit of sharing or learning or something more productive than post-apocalyptic fat kid sighting signs--in order--I figure I'll bring you up to speed on the last seven (ish) months:

The 15 Things You Missed This Year

1. Tinkling on the wall. Sprayin' right across the paint.

2. Rolling onto stomach. Crying at being on stomach.

3. Emergency room. $$$. False alarm.

4. Rolling onto stomach. Flailing in failed attempt to move. More crying.

5. Baby food. Mess. Bath.

6. Emergency room. More $$$. False alarm two.

7. Dad cutting off Emergency room visits.

8. Crawling.

9. Crawling off side of bed. Mom says Dad's fault.  ...

10.Saying first almost word, "Da..."

11.Repeating first almost word, "Da..." endlessly at Mom. :)

12.Pulling oneself to standing.

13.Standing. Sitting. St--sitting.

14.Crawling after Dad as he leaves for work. Heartbreak.

15.Clawing at Dad's legs. Personifying cuddliness in miniature, huggable form.

There you have it.

Nearly seven months of knee-high variety misadventures. But ages since a heart fell in love with wonder bottled in little blue eyes.

Makes it a whole lot easier to jump in for another spin at the roulette game with the bottle in the corner.

The one, I know this time, we won't lose.

The one I wouldn't want to for all the world.

Not too long ago, I told Luke I am his father.

Very soon he will get the chance to reply-- "The Spirit runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And...my sister has it."

Very soon.

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